Chaplain-Led Lunch & Learn Series focused on the human domain of leadership, Session #6 (last session)
Norms:
Respect (for self, others)
Participation
Willingness to Learn
Today, focusing on, “Honoring Purpose: Balancing Your Priorities, Your Boss’s Priorities, and Motivating Your Soldiers”
Why? We all have a purpose. Our purpose informs our priorities – both personal and professional. Part of living in a way that honors the totality of ourselves as a person is to live in a way that honors our purpose. Yet, we work in an organization where we will constantly run into competing priorities. Mission requirements, expectations, and priorities from higher ranking individuals may cloud ours. Thus, spending time reflecting on our purpose, our priorities, and understanding how we fit into our organization will allow us to honor ourselves and others and more effectively lead as purpose-driven leaders.
= today answering how to explore the answer to, “What is the point?”
Defining Terms: Purpose
Discussion: When you hear the word “purpose,” what comes to mind?
Purpose: = why we, as an individual or an organization, do what we do
“the aim, intention, [or goal] of something” à with the answer being tied to something that is “personally meaningful and makes a positive mark on the world” (UC Berkeley)
When we do something “on purpose,” we do it in a “way that is planned or intended; in a deliberate way” (Encyclopedia Britannica)
We can have a short-term and a long-term purpose. A short-term purpose typically looks like the “why” we fulfil in an immediate role. For our work in Europe, this could sound like, “I am here to ensure movements are processed so that equipment goes where it needs to go for a mission to be completed.” A long-term purpose helps us answer a more existential question about why we do what we’re doing. If your immediate purpose is processing moves, the next step is asking “to what end” or “why does this matter to me?”
Let’s look back at this distinction between immediate and existential purpose à another way to think about this in Army terms would be discerning a tactical vs. strategic purpose for our lives
Tactically: What is the goal of my existence in my organization? Our immediate purpose is normally dictated by the mission, priorities, the vision set by someone of a senior position, time constraints, etc. Tends to be dictated and tangible.
What do you do in the Army?
Strategically: What is the aim, or intention, of my existence, generally? Our existential purpose is more nebulous; you can describe it, but harder to quantify. Not proscribed by another person but derived from beliefs, values, and world view; informed by experience.
Why did you join the Army?
Thoughts on how this distinction applies in your niche/world?
à we are focusing our discussion on long-term or existential purpose. To do that, we need to take a moment to explore from where we derive a sense of purpose.
Discussion: What do you think informs our sense of purpose? Asked another way, from where do we derive our purpose?
As we continue our discussion today, reflect on your long-term purpose, why you do what you do and what informs this. We’ll provide some practical tips on how to discern purpose for yourself and in helping others.
In the meantime, we have one more word to define to be able to understand why this topic is so important in our profession. That word is “priorities.”
Defining Terms: Priorities
Discussion: When you hear the word “priority,” what comes to mind?
Priorities = “something given or meriting attention before competing alternatives” à to have priority is “to require being dealt with or done first : to be more important (than something else)” (Merriam-Webster)
Example of types of priorities:
Professionally:
Making your boss happy
Career progression
Mission requirement
Growing your network
Promotion
BN Commander:
People First
Deployment Proficiency
Sustainment Integration
UMT:
Soldier and Family Spiritual Fitness/Resilience
Provide quality advisement to the Command
Challenge and empower individuals to consider how their spirituality informs their daily lives/mission
UMT PME/MED/Weapons qualified
Personally:
Being a good parent/family
Working out
School
Enjoyment
Relaxation
Happiness
Faith/religion
Health
Other examples?
Purpose & Priorities
Discussion: What do you think purpose and priorities have to do with one another? Do your individual purpose and your priorities always have to align?
Alignment is not necessary, nor is it always possible à but not losing sight of your purpose and feeling like you are able to live into it is essential. Why?
Our ability to align our purpose and our priorities, or even just see a glimpse of our purpose when other priorities seem to take precedence, has the ability to either help us feel rooted, have a sense of value and self-worth, and not get burnt out or feel a sense of despair, exhaustion, undue stress, depression
Misalignment à free fall, dread, exhaustion, resentment, stress, “flight, fight, freeze,” depression, burn out, and focusing on the wrong things
So, v important to figure out how to still honor your purpose, make space you’re your personal and professional priorities, within a system because this helps prevent everything we’ve been talking about (stress, burnout) and better care for others (day-to-day, with empathy, and in traumatic situations)
But: we run into competing priorities all the time à but one of the biggest issues I see from the human side is that individuals commonly allow the priorities of someone else to either define their own priorities or overshadow their priorities, so the individual loses their sense of self and feels adrift
Let’s talk about how we navigate this…
Navigating Conflicting Priorities
Categories of conflicts of priorities (immediate/presenting vs. underlying):
Time constraints (ie. not enough time to complete everything assigned to you)
Values-based (ie. core value at odds with what is being asked of you)
Value-based (ie. level of importance of task)
Vision for future (ie. have different visions for where going)
Discussion: When your priorities run counter to your boss’s or your organization, what do you think are some ways to approach this conflict?
Deconflicting Priorities & Honoring Purpose:
This process will sound v similar to what we’ve discussed before à namely, because it all comes down to self-awareness, intentionality, and thoughtful dialogue with your boss
(1) Name that there is a conflict and figure out its cause
(2) identify your own priorities
(3) identify the priorities of your boss or your organization
(4) figure out where these intersect
(5) figure out where these diverge à including identify if in the divergence, there is any harm being done
(6) align on goals: have an open conversation with your boss à acknowledge what is important to them, what needs to happen for organizational success, and what is important to you and why à bring them in to your vision and work together to figure out a way forward that accomplishes the tasks and brings you life
(7) if unable to explicit align goals, then figure out implicit ways that this is possible à ideally you’re able to do this in your work but, if not, then figure out that life-giving source from outside of work places
à in order to do all this in a lifegiving and sustainable way though, you need to have a keen sense of purpose
There is almost always a way to honor your sense of purpose and personal priorities in any situation à it may just take creativity à but spending time figuring out how to honor your purpose literally saves lives (mental, emotional, spiritual, physical health benefits)
Discerning Purpose with Others
As persons in positions of leadership, we will – if we have not already – asked ourselves the question, “How do I motivate my [Soldier, peer, coworker, etc.]?” This question is inevitable and a consistent leadership challenge.
One way in which to do this is to guide the individual to discern their sense of purpose and then help them live into it – and this can either be that lofty existential, long-term purpose or an immediate, tactical purpose that gives them meaning each day. Either is beautiful, and, like we discussed, they feed into one another.
à the point is helping someone figure out their point of existence, giving them meaning and agency
Tips for helping others or yourself unearth a sense of purpose
So, let’s talk about it: How do we practically help others find purpose?
Talk with them/reflect yourself about their interests, passions, and joys
Get feedback à share with someone what you appreciate about them and vice versa as this may uncover a talent you didn’t realize you possessed
Consider your talents à make a list of your gifts
Keep an Open Mind:
Read, expand your awareness
Keep an open mind, spirit, and heart
Make Meaning:
Find ways to turn your hurt or pain into healing for others (this is often considered post-traumatic growth)
Tell your story à practice writing it and telling it because, as you do, you may see themes or trends in your life that suggest a purpose of how you can help the world
Religious Practices:
If spiritual or religious, prayer and turning to the Divine or your sacred texts can also help provide context for purpose
Ask yourself, “where does my sense of joy and a world need intersect?” à this is one way to discern your purpose
“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet” – The Rev. Frederick Buechner
Purpose is a journey, not a destination à it can, and likely will, change as we move through life, learn more about ourselves and the world, and have new experiences à the goal is to have a framework to discern, “what is the point, for me and how do I make meaning of my life?” à with that framework in place, everything else can come
Conclusion
Purpose is important to discern because it helps us remain rooted, connected, have a sense of self and agency, and make meaning of our lives à having a sense of purpose is an explicit safeguard against unnecessary stress and burnout, which means that, with purpose, we can better lead and support others – and ourselves.
Questions?
Takeaways x 3 (Anyone willing to share their sense of purpose?)