Today, I was asked to speak on the topic of identity. Not preach, just speak. We do have to write an essay on our “Chaplain Identity,” after all… Truthfully, I initially declined. This is a topic about which I’m extremely passionate…and also a topic that carries a lot of emotional weight for me. Identity, including my own, is something I’m working out every day. Just when I think I have myself figured out – I learn something new that shows me there’s more work to be done. Just when I think I’ve figured out how to be inclusive – I put my foot in my mouth. Identity, then, is a learning process. And I’m going to tell you a story about this process.
3 years ago, I had a conversation which opened my eyes to the unique role that identity plays in each of our lives. It was summertime and I was working at a camp in rural New Hampshire. Much like Chaplain Basic Officer Leader Course (CHBOLC), we had weekends off. One particular weekend, my friend Abe needed to go to Boston. Abe didn’t have a car. After some deliberation, our friend Leigh let Abe borrow her Mercedes for the weekend. Pleased with this solution, Leigh and I thought nothing else of the request. Abe would borrow the car, drive to Boston, then be back on Sunday for work. Abe, however, wasn’t as sure. Though appreciative of Leigh’s offer, Abe couldn’t feel comfortable driving in someone else’s car without a note from the owner. You see, Abe is a young black man. And Abe’s lived experiences and how some of the world perceives Abe told him that it would not be safe for him to drive to Boston in a Mercedes because if he was pulled over and the car was not registered in his name, then one could assume that Abe stole the car – even though it was willingly loaned to him. This small interaction was a huge learning experience for me. Leigh and I, two white women, didn’t understand how Abe’s identity as a black man could impact his ability to travel to Boston through rural New Hampshire – something Leigh and I took for granted due to our socialization and identities. We never would have asked for a note from the owner. We could do a lot with this concept of identity, but today we’re going to talk about two ideas related to identity:
Let’s begin by picking up the conversation already started for us. Last week, we rooted our identities in being children of God. It was argued that we cannot “live the call fiercely” (the official motto of the U.S. Army Chaplain Corps) unless we recognize this. I’m going to push this conversation from the important and abstract framework to an embodied reality. If we look around the room, it is no secret that God gave each of us a body. More than that, God created diverse bodies. Bodies of different colors, genders, sexual orientations, national origins, age, and ability. All these bodies are beautiful. Then, humankind developed systems that further diversified our God-given bodies and placed them in categories. Humanity created class, race, and political institutions. There may be neither Jew nor Greek, free or slave, female or male in Christ; but while we are alive in the bodies that God gave us, part of identity is acknowledging our social-locations, or the groups to which our bodies belong based on position in history and society. For example, I speak as a young, white, woman in a straight-presenting relationship who is theologically trained and form by western Christianity. All this has impacted how I am viewed and interact with the world. It means that while I may be acutely aware of gender, take caution while walking alone at night, or pass as straight, I overlooked racial bias when helping Abe find a car to use to drive to Boston. There is a lot to unpack there but for now, what is important to take away is that all of this, both God-given and human-constructed, contributes to our identity – how we choose to present, how others perceive us, and what we choose to selectively reveal. Now, these social-locators directly and indirectly impact our experiences and world views. At a base level, all this means is I will have a different experience and perspective than [NAME]. This is a reality of our world – especially here in the United States of America. This is where the learning comes in and the journey begins. This is where I have to take a step back and try to learn how others see the world and how the world sees them – how I see the world and how the world sees me. Every day, I’m learning to navigate the concept of identity. Some days it brings joy and other days it brings pain. It takes work. It can be scary. It’s vulnerable. And it’s worth it. We opened with one story that showed how a white woman and a black man experience and are experienced by society differently – and there are endless other studies and stories which can demonstrate the reality that identity leads to different experiences and world views. This is something we as a group should continue to unpack and need to discuss as we complete the next 6 or so weeks together. Doing so will make us more aware of our own identities, the identities of the people we’re called to serve, and how those identities may mean that events, language, politics, policies, and even church services will impact each of us differently. It’s about humility and it’s about mindfulness towards ourselves and others. If we are serious about serving others – just as they are – then we need to be aware of how we present, how we are perceived, and what we choose to selectively reveal impacts our daily experience and shapes our world views. Because just like us, the people we serve are impacted by their identities. So, as we journey towards a rejoicing multitude of nations, let’s ask ourselves, who are we, how does the world see us, and how do I interact with the world? |